I married my best friend Reid on June 10th, 2006, and I am absolutely convinced that we have been given to one another to get through this life. I love him so much, and life has been a constant adventure we’re desperately trying to get through together…as we walk with Jesus and trust Him to write our story.
One of my favorite things about being married to Reid is getting to be parents together, and the Lord has blessed us with six beautiful babies: Emma Leigh, Friedrich Uriah, Sophie Noël, and Charlie James, who died in my womb at 37 weeks. Losing baby Charlie, was the heartbreak of our lives. And then, to our shock and devastation, two more babies died in my womb the same year Charlie died. Losing our last three babies has been the deepest sorrow of our lives, and there is absolutely nothing that has more shattered (or probably more strengthened) our faith…than trusting God with this part of our story.
For over a year, we did not know the cause of my failing health, or the reason for our reoccurring pregnancy losses, and then, on February 14th, 2014 we received the devastating news that our family had been poisoned by exposure to toxic black mold and mycotoxins found in the house where we were living.
Finding out that our entire family was dangerously sick from mold exposure, and that we could no longer keep anything we owned that had been exposed to the mycotoxins in our house, was both overwhelming and devastating. And also…a relief. It has been a long and painfully slow journey of mold recovery, but we are also so grateful that we finally have a name to put to the enemy that has stolen so much from our lives. It has been a long journey filled with many twists and set backs along the way. At the same time, we have truly seen overwhelming evidence of God’s sovereign hand upon our family, and the love and care of the body of Christ, each and every step of the way.
I am a mommy. Being a parent is an interesting thing. You find yourself doing crazy, completely out of character things that you absolutely never would have done…save for your relentless love for a precious little being. Case and point: A few months ago I very narrowly escaped getting in a cat fight at Disney’s California Adventure. I’m soooo not a cat fight kind of girl. But, things happen when you love a little person with a Mama bear kind of love. I was watching Fred play on a very steep slide at CA Adventure, when all of a sudden this punk two-year-old started shoving my darling Fred and pushing him backwards right over the steep, 6-foot drop of a slide. Shoving! And there was my precious second-born swaying back and forth and trying desperately to hang on for dear life. More in fear than in anger I just started yelling, “Stop! Don’t push! Don’t push!” as loud as I possibly could. I felt like my Freddo’s life was hanging in the balance and since I was pregnant with Charlie, and holding one-year-old Sophie… all I could do was yell at the kid to stop pushing. The kids Grandma was apparently yelling at him too, but if she was yelling at him it must have been in a whisper because he simply was not listening. Suddenly Grandma appears out of no where and just keeps apologizing and saying, “I’m so sorry, I’m so very sorry.” I thought that was the end of it. Until…five minutes later when punk kid’s negligent mom comes up to me and starts screaming at me and telling me, “Who do you think you are to tell my kid what to do!” And so on and so forth. She wanted it to go to blows and I just kept thinking, “I don’t even like talking to strangers, I cannot believe I’m being yelled at by one at the happiest place on earth!”
But here’s the thing…I just didn’t care. Because I love my Freddo too much to care what punk kid’s negligent mom thinks. I just looked at her and cooly said, “I don’t care one bit if you think I’m pyscho mom for yelling at your kid. When your kid is trying to send my kid to the hospital, I will yell at him as long as it takes to protect my kid’s life.” As I walked away (shaking of course) I thought to myself, “Well, parenting certainly does change everything.” Things you’d never do…you just do without even thinking. Because now you LOVE somebody.
So, that’s the first thing about me…I’m a mommy. And loving these six precious somebody’s has changed me. Changed me into someone I had never thought I’d be. A take-on-mean-people-at-Disneyland, blog-your-deepest-heart-ache-to-total-strangers, do anything for the precious little ones the Lord has given me…kind of mom. I would never have started this blog were it not for the fourth precious bundle the Lord brought into my life…our sweet Charlie James. But God did bring him into my life, and I have started blogging, because this is one of the most important things about me: I am someones…six little someones…Mommy. And this is the best way I can think, to love the ones I did not get to love on in this life. To love them…as I wait for eternity.
I’m a child of the King. Which brings me to my second point: I love having little ones who belong to me. But I know there is something that matters even more than having people who belong to me…I belong to Somebody.
I believe in Jesus. That He came…that He died…that He rose from the grave to end the power of death in all its victory and all its sting…and that He is coming again one day to finally right all the wrongs of this broken world. If you had asked me a year ago…I would have said that I believed the exact same things…but after our Sweet Charlie’s birth on January 28th, 2013, and the incredibly difficult and painful years we have endured of being held by God and loved by Him through all of this sorrow and suffering, I believe all the more…that I am a child of the King.
There’s lots more about me. But none of it matters as much as these two things. The first matters a little, for the story that God is writing for my life. The second matters a LOT…for the story God is writing for eternity.
with love, misty