The week after Charlie died I received an incredibly kind and thoughtful letter from Pastor John Piper. It was a long story I’ll keep short, but I was deeply encouraged that he would take the time to write me, and his words ministered so much to my heart. We have never met, and probably won’t this side of heaven, but I can’t wait for the day when we do. I can’t wait to introduce him to Charlie and to tell my sweet son that in one of the darkest nights of my soul, Pastor John’s words were one of the Lord’s kindest reminders to me of the promise of the joy that will someday come when I finally get to meet my baby son.
I was reminded not just that I will someday meet our precious Charlie James, but that I will meet him AS his mom, and have the joy of loving him as my son. It meant so much to me to imagine a real conversation taking place with this little person I love so much, in a world where I will finally see him, and hear him, and know him, and love him…as I had so desperately longed to here on this earth.
We actually wrote one another a few times, but I’ve hesitated to share his words on a public forum without his permission. I left it in the Lord’s hands and was so encouraged when Pastor John’s assistant wrote me this week to share that a number of people at Desiring God had been deeply encouraged by John’s letter and believed it would be a great blessing in the lives of others. They asked for my permission to publish his first letter to me, and it is my prayer that it will be an encouragement to all who are grieving the loss of someone they love, and especially for the thousands of parents in this world who have experienced the heartbreaking pain of having to wait for heaven to be with their precious child. The wait is so very long.
But I was reminded through Pastor John’s tender words that there will one day be an end to this sorrow. And that the anguish from all of the missed birthdays and Christmases and Mothers days and Fathers days will one day be eclipsed by the joy of being with my little one forever in the Presence of Jesus. The One whose presence gave us the grace to endure the deepest sorrow of our souls. The One who Charlie always had the joy of knowing…from the very first days of his life…to the very moment when I finally get to say, “Hello, little one. I’m your mom.” The One who carried each one of us safely Home.
I can’t wait to meet our sweet Charlie James. Until then, I rest in the promise that he is in very good hands. The Best in fact.
If you would like to read it, here is Pastor John’s letter…